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绝句三期三年级第九讲伐柯组作业贴 |
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点评
问好,起承合都很好,转句借梅作比,易把重心和关注点转到梅上,感觉把主角迎春花弱了,转句再斟酌下
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点评
问好,起句物象有点多和杂乱,桃红和燕与后面的淡雅意境不协调,建议起句再斟酌,最好是精简下
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