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沧浪书院绝五玄英组第五讲作业贴 |
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点评
问好学友,格律正确,也符合作业要求,游旅用词别扭,翩翩是形容蝴蝶,独自悠悠过画桥呢,也和第三句相扣了。个见
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点评
问好学友,格律正确,符合作业要求,就是第二句直白了点,要用诗家语,个见。
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点评
问好学友,格律正确,符合作业要求,第三句转快了,第一二句还是暖色调,第三句一下就冷色调,做的铺垫不够。个见
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