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沧浪诗词学院一期绝句班采薇组第六讲作业贴 |
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点评
第一首用并列式,并对偶,很好。第二首用承接式。转合句,没衔接好。“舌伸蹲犬 ”还能 “口举游鱼” “泛柳塘”?
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点评
问好老师?两首小绝都符合作业要求,句子流畅,赞!只是过于口语化,需加强字词的凝练。祝再次提高!
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